


Gaze Long Enough Into The Abyss

by Pline



Series: Silence Hits So Hard [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dark Thoughts, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Peter, Hypothetical Post Infinity War, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, written before Infinity War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 21:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14246553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pline/pseuds/Pline
Summary: The war against Thanos is over, but Peter can't bring himself to feel anything.He just sits, alone, empty, tired.Until Tony Stark finds him and brings him back from that nothingness.





	Gaze Long Enough Into The Abyss

All around him are debris and destruction.

Peter knows he should feel something - the world is saved, they saved the world, Thanos is dead -  but he feels nothing but emptiness.

He’s sitting on a wrecked car, back in New York. It sounds logical, expected even, it all started in New York all those years ago, it had to end there too.

New York has never been so silent. All the inhabitants have evacuated and no one has come back yet. Peter wonders if anyone will ever come back.

There’s barely anything left, the Statue of Liberty was knocked over and now sits half-drowned in the Hudson. How many buildings have been destroyed? How many homes have been shattered?

They won yes, but at what cost?

It’s not only New York, it’s the whole word. No corner of the planet was left untouched by Thanos and the Black Order.

A tear falls from his eyes, he doesn’t bother to wipe it, and soon others follow suit. Still, he doesn’t move, can’t move. How many people died? How many lives were lost?

How many couldn’t he save?

All the heroes of the universe and beyond, gathered to defend Earth and life itself, and even they couldn’t prevent so much destruction.

Yes, Earth is saved, but how much of it was destroyed in order to do so?

New York has never been so silent and it’s painful to hear. It’s unnatural, it’s just wrong.

Or maybe he’s dead and that’s why he’s all alone, here, sitting on this car. He could be dead, he supposes, he could be in limbo. He’s not even saddened by the thought, he accepts his maybe death right away and feels nothing. No pain, no regret, no nothing, only emptiness.

And suddenly there’s noise. Like a bubble that’s been popped, suddenly he hears something. He doesn’t need to move to see who it is, he’d recognize those engines anywhere now.

Tony Stark, still in his Iron Man suit, sits down next to him. Peter doesn’t look, can’t bring himself to tear his eyes away from the nothingness he sees before him.

“You’re hurt?”, is the first thing Mr Stark asks.

Peter shakes his head no. He’s hurting, he doesn’t care. He may not ever care about anything ever after all he’s seen today.

“You wanna talk?” Mr Stark asks.

Another shake of the head. He doesn’t know if he even can.

And so they sit, in silence, complete silence again. There’s not a noise except from their breathing and if it weren’t for that, Peter might have found them both dead, both in limbo, waiting to disappear forever and join that nothingness that surrounds them.

How long do they sit? Peter could never say, it felt like years but also like no time at all. It doesn’t matter. None of it matters.

Mr Stark speaks first.

“Your aunt’s worrying about you.”

May. May. Aunt May.

It’s a distant thought, like it doesn’t truly belong to him, as if it belonged to the person he was before, the person he no longer is and can never be again. A person that was innocent still, that had dreams and hopes and laughs.

Peter has nothing but emptiness in his heart.

“Come on, kid.”

Neither of them move.

“Kid?”

Can’t bring himself to react.

“Parker?”

He’s just so tired.

“Peter?”

_ Mr Stark’s never called him Peter. _

It’s the first thought that rings clear in his mind.

Peter moves, just a little, he just tilts his head towards Mr Stark, just somewhat looks in his direction but it’s enough. It’s something.

“Okay, kid,” Stark says, he sounds relieved. “Okay kid, that’s good. Stay with me. It’s gonna be okay.”

How can he say that? So much was lost, is there even anything left that’s worth living for?

“Aunt May is on her way back, we should go and meet her, what do you think?”

Mr Stark’s voice is soft, Peter doesn’t think he’s ever heard Mr Stark be so soft before. He’s not sure though, he isn’t sure of anything.

But Aunt May, he can’t forget her. She matters. He remembers her smile. She’s important. He feels something, it’s numbed but it’s there.

He nods.

“Great, kid. Can you move?”

He doesn’t.

“Can you look at me?”

It takes him some effort, but he does. Mr Stark’s face is battered, bruised, but his eyes are still sharp and yet kind.

“Whatever you’re feeling now,” he says, “it’s okay. You’ll get through this. You’re not alone. You know I - well, it’s not a secret I care about you, kid. I don’t have kids of my own but if I did…”

He sighs, struggling to get the words out.

“You get what I’m trying to say, right? I’m proud of you.”

And Peter does know.

“Come on, let’s go, Spider-Man. I’ll carry you but you gotta help an old man out. You need to get up.”

It takes them a while, but in the end Peter manages to move, slowly. His right arm is thrown against Mr Stark’s shoulders who practically has to carry him as they flow towards a camp in the middle of Central Park. 

It’s a lot of tents and it’s noisy. New York isn’t so lifeless as he thought: all the people who stayed behind, either to fight or because they couldn’t get away in time, seem to be gathered in there. There are people being treated everywhere, people screaming in pain or crying, looking for their loved ones or sobbing openly.

There are people staring at nothing also.

“Let’s get you looked at, and then you’ll eat something and rest. Your aunt won’t be here for another couple of hours.”

Sam Wilson comes to them as they’re walking into one of the tents.

“You found Spider-Boy,” he says with a genuine smile. “We kept a bed for him, next to Quake’s. I’ll get a doctor to check on him.”

Peter falls asleep before any doctor’s visit.

 

* * *

The world is calmer when he wakes up, but it’s not silent. It’s a comfort, he could have never get used to such an eerie silence.

May is fast asleep next to him, she somehow managed to lie on the bed with him and she’s holding him close.

Peter smiles.

The nothingness recedes.

He untangles himself from his aunt’s embrace without waking her, which he considers a miracle, and gets up.

They are many people sleeping, heroes and civilians alike. He sees the talking raccoon he’s met briefly - Rocket? - holding a gun like one would a toy. Can’t blame him, he supposes, after all the horror they’ve been through, anyone need all the reconfort they can use.

It’s the small hours of the morning, when the sky clears but not enough to see. That’s how he notices the only lights are coming from the camp, all of New York is plunged in the dark.

Peter finds Mr Stark helping with the people, up already despite the hour, he probably hasn’t slept at all. Feeling watched, he turns towards Peter, and smiles.

“Hey kid,” he says once he catches up to him. “Feeling better?”

“Yes,” Peter answers. His voice is hoarse.

Mr Stark smiles even more and, despite the fatigue and the bruises, he looks almost normal.

“I’m glad.”

“I wanted to say, thank you.”

“I wasn’t going to let you there all alone,” he scoffs. It’s evident to him and that’s not something a lot of people see, but helping others is natural to Tony Stark, it’s not something he has to think about. He just does.

“Still. Thank you,” Peter needs him to hear it. “I don’t know where I was but it wasn’t a good place.”

Mr Stark nods, serious again and looking older than he’s ever looked, “It happens sometimes, after a battle.”

They stay side by side, saying nothing and helping however as they can. Meanwhile, the sun rises in the sky, coloring it like a canvas. More and more people wake and they help too, and soon, the air feels less tense.

Peter can finally breathe out.  


It’s a new day.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really happy with this little thing! I didn't plan for it to turn so dark, but what can I say? At least I gave a hopeful ending I think!
> 
> On a side note, it was my 23rd birthday up until an hour ago and I'm so glad I found the inspiration today because I had been missing it for awhile.
> 
> I really hope you liked this!! Maybe leave a comment?
> 
> I take prompts on my tumblr @kingtxhalla
> 
> This will become a series probably.
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading!!


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